Ten O'Clock Moment

There’s this great story by Stephen King called Ten O’Clock People. I’m not going to ruin any of it for you since I’m sure that you are going to run out and read it on my advice, but the main theme of the story revolves around a group of people that see a certain aspect of the world for what it really is while the rest of the world remains clueless. Once they see it, they cannot go back to the blissful ignorance they enjoyed before. This happened to me recently, though without the masterful touch of supernatural horror that Mr. King lends to the tale. It happened at work. This is not much of a surprise, as I spend far too much of my life there. I had to make a quick run to the restroom (don’t worry, that’s is detailed as it gets) and the one person restroom on my side of the office was occupied. I had waited longer than usual before seeking relief, so waiting around was not an option. I walked to the office across the hall and made use of the facilities there. Not a lot was different and that sense of familiarity caused me to relax. I hadn’t noticed the full length mirror on the back of the door. Since I was unaware of it’s presence, when I looked in to the mirror the person looking back at me was fully relaxed. Gone were the subtle posture changes that unconsciously accompanied any knowing trip to the mirror. In that moment I saw myself the way that I really am; the way the world sees me stared back at me. I was fat. More accurately, I am fat, seeing as this occurred just last week. This is what my wife and kids see when they look at me. I am not happy.

I spent a little time wondering how this happened. I’ve had problems with my weight most of my life. Usually I can be classified as “a little overweight”. I like to eat. I’m pretty lazy. I sit on my expanding ass at work all day. It’s really no surprise that I gravitate toward being a little on the chubby side. This, however, is a bit extreme. I would imagine that I am probably pushing 260 pounds at this point, though I have not stepped on a scale yet. How did I not notice this? A donut here, a fast food dinner there, some candy snagged from the bosses office. It’s just a few calories. Nothing to worry about there, right? I know better, that’s the worst part. I’ve received training in nutrition and have been in top shape more than once in my life. Since that initial revelation, I can’t stop seeing it. Whatever changes in posture, lighting, or angles I was unconsciously using before to convince myself that things were not this far gone have evaporated. I see myself for what I am now and I do not like it, so I’m changing it.

I’m going to write here at least twice a week as both a motivation tool and to share ideas with anyone else who happens to come across this. Anyone reading along should keep in mind that I am writing about what works for me. I will spend a lot of time talking about the basic concepts behind what I am doing, those are the more important things to pay attention to. I’ve noticed in myself that when I look at diet and exercise plans I’ve always looked for someone to tell me exactly what to do every step of the way. I think that’s mainly the reason a lot of these plans and gimmicks don’t provide lasting results. You can learn to do just about anything through repetition, but not learning the mechanics behind it does not prepare you for any number of variables and adjustments that you may need to make due to changes in those variables. Keep in mind that I’m just a fat guy making a change. I don’t have any degrees and advanced training in this stuff and I’m not going to pretend that I do. Anything that express here is an opinion and if you have the knowledge to correct me please do. I’m going to post progress pictures as well (at least monthly) so if you’re offended by pictures of half naked fat men then I’m sure you can find a site somewhere full of beautiful people who have never been out of shape a day in their life that will be glad to tell you exactly what works for them.