Pumping iron...

Weight training started today. Let’s be clear, I’m not a huge fan of weight training. I’ve got a pretty big frame and I have no desire to look like one of the cast of American Gladiators. Muscle, seeing as it weighs more than fat, can also make it harder to measure progress since you can be burning a ton of fat and the scale doesn’t move at all. You will feel different and, depending on where you are building the most muscle, you may see the difference but nothing quite beats that feeling of accomplishment you get by seeing the numbers on the scale drop. So why do it at all? Why not just stick to cardio and aerobic exercise? You could, and you would certainly see results if you stuck with it. You’ll certainly burn more calories in 30 min of cardio than you will with 30 min of weight lifting, but with more muscle mass you will burn more calories at rest. Now that is worth every uncomfortable moment as far as I’m concerned.

Weight training can discourage me faster than just about any other form of exercise. Going in to the gym a considerable amount of time away can be an eye opener and all respects, but none so much as at the weight machine or on the free weights. I remembered the weight levels that I could lift the last time I was a regular at the gym so I cut those in half and figured I’d just add weight from there until I was satisfied that I was at the right level. I did the first bicep curl…and halved the weight again. My heart sank, made worse after I got up and a man at least 20 years my senior sat down and started with triple the weight I had on the machine. I felt like I should just leave or go back to the elliptical machine on which I had done my warm up. I didn’t run away though, I went to the next machine and worried less about the weight and more about my form. I concentrated on fluid motions, breathing in deeply on contraction and out steadily on release. I started to feel more calm and at ease with myself. I realized that I had to look at things differently. I hadn’t lifted any weights yesterday, so everything I did was an improvement. I started to feel a lot better about the whole process and was almost disappointed when my 30 min time limit was up. Breathing and proper form go a long way toward helping your body get the most benefit out of any work out and it can greatly reduce the risk of injury. As a bonus, the added oxygen that your muscles go after like a fat kid on cake gives you an energy boost, a general feeling of well being, and (in some cases) euphoria. Good times.

I forgot to take a progress pic again this morning, but I did get on the scale at the gym this morning:

264.

I’m looking forward to seeing that go down.

Talk the talk...

Last night I told my wife quite suddenly that I would be getting up at 4:30 this morning. She was more than a little perplexed as to why I would want to do such a thing. I explained that I was going to the gym. She thought it was a good idea, but couldn't understand why I had stated it so plainly and out of the blue. The reason was pretty simple, I was using a little mind trick on myself. It was out there now. It wasn't something I was going to try to get around to, I was going to do it. I had said so, and if I didn't go then I was going to have to explain why to my wife. She would have been understanding and wouldn't have given me a hard time about it, but I would have been disappointed in myself and having to admit to her that I didnt' go would have deepened that feeling.

I think that being wishy washy holds people back a lot more often than we may realize. I was a smoker for fifteen years. I tried to quit a few times during that time, but I think that was part of the problem; I was always trying and not actually doing. About two years ago I finally quit for good. I took a different stance that time, I didn't tell people I was trying to quit. I simply told them I didn't smoke. I decided that I was going to be a non-smoker and I behaved accordingly. It wasn't easy by a long shot, but that determination helped to take off the mental edge, plus I held myself accountable by presenting myself as a non-smoker. There were times when the thought of having to explain why I had falsely represented myself was enough to keep me on track.

Last night I made a conscious decision to change and stated it. That is just the way things are going to be from now on. So it's going to be easy, right? Hell no! One of the reasons I'm typing this right now is to keep from hitting the vending machine down the hall. Distraction can work great too.

So my first bit of advice, summed up nicely, is to make a decision to change and tell someone. Every time you feel like you are going to do something that's going to derail you remind yourself that you're not that person any more. I promise, the majority of the advice I give from now on is going to be far less like a motivational speaker. Now, on to what I did specifically today.

I got up just after 4:30 and made to the gym when they opened at 5. I did 45 minutes on the elliptical machine while watching Married with Children (knowing that show is on at that time of the morning may actually help motivate me to get up tomorrow). I made good choices food-wise. My day started with a bowl of cereal and a cup of black coffee. I ate every two hours or so from 6:30 on. I did no unsanctioned snacking and avoided the temptation of the candy jar in my bosses office. The peanut butter pretzels that made up my first snack was probably the worst thing that I ate today and those still weren't too bad. I feel like I may have eaten dinner a little too early as I'm only an hour in to class and I'm pretty sure the hunger that I'm feeling isn't just from boredom. I'll make sure to take that in to account tomorrow.

Ten O'Clock Moment

There’s this great story by Stephen King called Ten O’Clock People. I’m not going to ruin any of it for you since I’m sure that you are going to run out and read it on my advice, but the main theme of the story revolves around a group of people that see a certain aspect of the world for what it really is while the rest of the world remains clueless. Once they see it, they cannot go back to the blissful ignorance they enjoyed before. This happened to me recently, though without the masterful touch of supernatural horror that Mr. King lends to the tale. It happened at work. This is not much of a surprise, as I spend far too much of my life there. I had to make a quick run to the restroom (don’t worry, that’s is detailed as it gets) and the one person restroom on my side of the office was occupied. I had waited longer than usual before seeking relief, so waiting around was not an option. I walked to the office across the hall and made use of the facilities there. Not a lot was different and that sense of familiarity caused me to relax. I hadn’t noticed the full length mirror on the back of the door. Since I was unaware of it’s presence, when I looked in to the mirror the person looking back at me was fully relaxed. Gone were the subtle posture changes that unconsciously accompanied any knowing trip to the mirror. In that moment I saw myself the way that I really am; the way the world sees me stared back at me. I was fat. More accurately, I am fat, seeing as this occurred just last week. This is what my wife and kids see when they look at me. I am not happy.

I spent a little time wondering how this happened. I’ve had problems with my weight most of my life. Usually I can be classified as “a little overweight”. I like to eat. I’m pretty lazy. I sit on my expanding ass at work all day. It’s really no surprise that I gravitate toward being a little on the chubby side. This, however, is a bit extreme. I would imagine that I am probably pushing 260 pounds at this point, though I have not stepped on a scale yet. How did I not notice this? A donut here, a fast food dinner there, some candy snagged from the bosses office. It’s just a few calories. Nothing to worry about there, right? I know better, that’s the worst part. I’ve received training in nutrition and have been in top shape more than once in my life. Since that initial revelation, I can’t stop seeing it. Whatever changes in posture, lighting, or angles I was unconsciously using before to convince myself that things were not this far gone have evaporated. I see myself for what I am now and I do not like it, so I’m changing it.

I’m going to write here at least twice a week as both a motivation tool and to share ideas with anyone else who happens to come across this. Anyone reading along should keep in mind that I am writing about what works for me. I will spend a lot of time talking about the basic concepts behind what I am doing, those are the more important things to pay attention to. I’ve noticed in myself that when I look at diet and exercise plans I’ve always looked for someone to tell me exactly what to do every step of the way. I think that’s mainly the reason a lot of these plans and gimmicks don’t provide lasting results. You can learn to do just about anything through repetition, but not learning the mechanics behind it does not prepare you for any number of variables and adjustments that you may need to make due to changes in those variables. Keep in mind that I’m just a fat guy making a change. I don’t have any degrees and advanced training in this stuff and I’m not going to pretend that I do. Anything that express here is an opinion and if you have the knowledge to correct me please do. I’m going to post progress pictures as well (at least monthly) so if you’re offended by pictures of half naked fat men then I’m sure you can find a site somewhere full of beautiful people who have never been out of shape a day in their life that will be glad to tell you exactly what works for them.